Lean Green Mommy Machine

Thoughts on health, wellness, living green and motherhood


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The Moment That Changed My Heart

We women and girls can tend to be very hard on ourselves. We expect to be perfect, like the women and girls portrayed in the media. We constantly criticize ourselves for being too fat, too thin, too pale, too curly, too straight.
Too much.
Not enough.
Not good enough.

And somehow, when even unprompted compliments wash over us, we simply can not believe we are enough. That we are beautiful.
All of us.
Being an adult and a mom doesn’t make that go away. In fact the changes my body has seen after 4 kids have made it worse.
When will we stop? When will we see God’s love in ourselves and realize who we really are?
When you have a moment.
Mine happened this past week…

I was laying on the floor playing with my youngest daughter, Poppy, who is 4. It was just she and I. Tickling. Laughing. Playing.
We lay there at one point, holding hands. I looked down at her hand in mine and here is what happened in my brain, “My hand looks so old. I see some spots there. Age spots. I just look old. Worn.”
And then in the very next moment, God spoke to my heart.
I am holding hands with my amazing, wonderful daughter. She tells me I am beautiful. She tells me I sing beautifully (which I do not but this shows how she sees me in her heart). She curls up with me multiple times per day, getting as close as she can, stroking my arm, leg face. She can not get enough of being near me. Loving me. It is pure joy to her heart.
And the only thing I found in that moment, that beautiful moment, was that I did not look good enough.
I truly felt God touch my heart right then. I felt something change.
I AM good enough. God placed me here for these girls. To be their mother, love them, guide them.
They show me everyday that their love for me is endless and not based on how I match up with an airbrushed supermodel.
I’ve told myself a million times to change how I think but it isn’t that simple. I needed God to speak into my heart in that moment.
And he did.

photo-35


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Real Food Bloggers Need To Get Real

I have plenty of family and friends who think I’m a bit over the top with my healthy living. They think I take things a bit far or question my sanity as well as the time I spend on certain things. But they have no idea the multitude of things I don’t do or choose

The biggest garden we can plant where we live.

The biggest garden we can plant where we live.

not to stress over. There is plenty out there that is bad, dangerous, toxic, healthier, better…that I am just not worrying over.
I can’t.
It’s not realistic for me to function like that. Or try to function, since I know I would never actually be able to function while doing the “best” of everything. We all have to determine what is best for our family’s personally and for us that is a mix of things.
But I do love to share knowledge of things I find helpful, healthful and interesting. I’m kind of a health and wellness nerd so what is interesting to me may make you fall asleep. Still, I try to share things that I think may improve someone’s health or give them great options. Or simply make them think.
But we have a serious problem with Real Food Bloggers. They seem to live in some counter-reality. I mean, I get that their lives are real and that there are others out there who live a similar life, but not the majority.
They write about the simplicity and ease of living a real food lifestyle and making everything you eat from scratch and anything you can’t make you buy local every other day….or whatever.
They have 1, maybe 2, kids and a nanny, housekeeper and enough money to blow on fancy gadgets to make themselves and their family even more healthy.
They live in California and have access to 40 different varieties of local produce year round.
Essentially they live a life that no one I know actually lives. And them singing the praises and simplicity of real food from where they are just makes it all seem unrealistic and unattainable. It is not actually encouraging people to improve their eating and make better choices. It is overwhelming them with the idea that somehow they are supposed to dive right in and find it so easy. It’s not easy and sometimes there are limits. Location, lifestyle, work, children, money…all potentially limiting factors. (Yes, money. Please, for the love of all things healthy, real foodies STOP saying things like, “If you think organic is expensive, you should try pricing cancer.” I LOVE Joel Salatin but that quote did not magically make money appear in my bank account. If you use this quote then you have no clue what it is like to struggle with money. You aren’t helping your cause. Just STOP.)
I am hoping to see more realistic Real Food Bloggers start popping up and sharing what they do and how they do it. People from all over with all different budgets and numbers of family members, talking about how they manage to make life just a little bit healthier for their family while not going mad. That’s a lot more real.


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Cloth Diapering: No Washer, No Dryer, No Problem

I considered cloth diapering for quite a while before I actually took the plunge. I was worried I wouldn’t be able to handle the work, the laundry, all of it. I began toying with the idea when my third daughter was a toddler and I was thinking of having a fourth child. I didn’t actually start until my fourth child was about 15 months old.
When I started I learned what kind of diapers I prefer (and they weren’t the ones I thought I would) and what kind of diapers my daughter needed to wear.
I also learned that cloth diapering is not hard, not a burden and not stressful. I really wish I had done it MUCH sooner. Just imagine the money I could have saved…..
Since I myself was a very worried, cloth-curious mom, I totally get why people worry. Now that I am a cloth convert I always try to offer cloth as an option to new and pregnant moms. Often they hadn’t considered it, didn’t know people still used cloth or were just too worried (like myself). I like to try to talk it out with moms to see where their worry is to see if I can help alleviate it.
Now, I’m not saying cloth is for everyone. I love it. LOVE. And I think it is possible for everyone but if you aren’t interested then that’s fine. Just own that. Don’t hem and haw and act interested when you really aren’t. My feelings won’t be hurt, promise.

I’ve heard a lot of excuses as to why people can’t use cloth. But honestly, very few people truly CAN’T do cloth. There may just be enough of a challenge to deter you. And like I said that’s fine, own it. It’s up to you.

But if you DO want to do cloth, if you’re really committed, you can work around challenges.

One of my dearest friends in the world is Clara. She and her husband are at the beginning of all that marriage, kids, figuring out life stuff. As young as they are though, they are making some very wise and responsible choices. I wish I had been as smart when I was that age.

Clara has two gorgeous little girls. One of them is still in diapers. They live in a little apartment above a vet clinic in a small town. They have no washer or dryer (or even hook ups), yard or outside space to call their own.

Know what? They cloth diaper that little sweetie of theirs. Clara figured the easiest way (also the least expensive) to do cloth while washing by hand. She uses flats and utilizes the Diaper Bag Fold and then uses a variety of covers (such as Flip, a favorite) that can be used over and over and easily wiped clean.

Know what other awesome thing she does?

This:

Don't you just love freshly washed diapers on the clothesline?

Don’t you just love freshly washed diapers on the clothesline?

This it the walkout from the apartment. Those are her diapers and wet bag.

She’s making it work because it matters to her. No excuses.

Not always easy but worth it in her eyes (and mine).

What cloth diapering hold ups do you have? Would you like to know how to work through them?


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Though She Be But Little

My first daughter was easy. She was happy and content and slept well, ate well didn’t trash the house. She was the easiest baby I’ve encountered. This was even more of a blessing as I just turned 19 the day before she was born.
My second daughter was a bit more attached and later had, we now realize, some sensory issues. But she still was pretty darn happy, ate and slept well . I like to tell people you could put knives and fine china in the middle of the room and tell her not to touch it and she wouldn’t. Not even a little. This was as a toddler. It’s totally true, too. I remember her being one and if she found a pebble or scrap of something on the floor she didn’t stick it in her mouth. She would reach it up to me and ask, “I eat?” and if I said no she would say “Kay” and hand it to me.
Seriously.
My third child gave us a harder time. She was a head-banger (cabinets, floors) if she didn’t get her way. She also suffered a vaccine injury that made a time period fairly rough with her. She grew out of much of that but keeps a bit of sass and stubbornness around just for kicks (or to be a pesky middle child like my dad).
Then we have the youngest. This girl has been like no other. All of my kids have very different personalities but the 4th. Oh boy! She is feisty and has been from the beginning. She nursed ALL the time, seemed to never sleep (she did, just woke every two hours until almost 2 years), got into everything. Everything.
We never really needed actual cabinet latches until she was born.
This is her at about 18 months. She stacked boxes to reach the light switch.

Poppy on boxes

As my friend Jamie said, the pesky is strong within this one.

Two days ago the whole family went to the dentist. They sort of get us all in at once, more or less. So there inevitably comes a point where the children are roaming the dental office.
I sat in that chair yesterday listening to my little Poppy, two days from turning 4, popping into exam rooms, chatting with hygienists, checking cabinets for a certain toothbrush to take home (and assuring the room’s occupants that she was just doing so, with a “no worries” attitude.
When I was done the receptionist gave further details about her dental office tour and how she would lean with her arm on the wall, chatting. She acted like she owned the place and the thing is…they all went with it.
It wasn’t ever in a “Man, this kid is a pain, can someone get her out of here” way. She proceeded through the office with complete confidence that I rarely see in even adults. She greeted a delivery man and other patients and had staff doing this, that and the other.
This is kind of typical everywhere we go. Even if she is a bit more reserved she has a certain something about her that people are drawn too. I have been at the store, the high school, sporting events and heard teens and parents call out to her and say “hi”.
This kid challenges me like her sisters never have and I have NO doubts it’s not going to end anytime soon. But I also believe more and more every day that she is going to do something amazing some day. Just you wait, world.
This quote is Poppy.

Though she be but little

Happy 4th birthday to my little Poppy!


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Dating My Daughter: Unexpected Casualties

Holding handsTo say I had concerns at the thought of my daughter dating would be an understatement. We put it off for a while (though I can’t say she fully adhered to the rule). Initially we had a NO dating policy with no end in sight. However, my husband and I are not unreasonable people and we have always told our children they can approach us with questions, concerns or perceived unfairness as long as it is with respect.
After many conversations we landed on a specified “D Day”. She would be allowed to date at the beginning of her Sophomore year in High School (this post isn’t about whether that is too early, too late or any of that – so save it). There were further rules about us meeting boys, allowable activities and riding in cars, etc.
We had no problem sticking to this rule until she and a wonderful young man from church became interested in each other at the end of her Freshman year. We have known this young man and his family for many years and adore them all. We allowed “D Day” to arrive a bit sooner, just for this fellow.
I admit it. I was smitten. I had a mom crush like you wouldn’t believe. He was everything you want in your daughter’s boyfriend. But he is two years older (the only one we’ve allowed to break that dating rule as well) and they were in completely different places mentally, emotionally, maturity wise, etc.
It ended peacefully and I was broken-hearted.
There it is. the thing no one tells you about your kids dating.
That YOU may feel that loss too.
We warned our daughter of the certain heartbreak she would feel as she entered the dating world. No one warned me about mine.
She began hanging out with another boy who was sweet and kind and I really liked. But he just wasn’t right for her. They hadn’t dated but he had come over a couple of times. I was disappointed to see him go.
A third boy she dated was one I liked quite a bit. But things just didn’t work out there either.
I could have maybe predicted how sad I would be at the loss of the first boyfriend since he was one we already loved (and maybe I was planning weddings in my head, don’t judge). But I didn’t expect to keep getting attached to these young men.
She has picked a couple of…less than ideal boys. We’ll just call them that and leave it there. But they were short-lived and I certainly was happy to see them go.
Now, for some this may paint my daughter in a poor light. She is simply trying to figure out who she is and who fits in with that and that’s a tough place in life. I’m sure we can all relate on some level.
My husband has been wise to guard himself against becoming too attached to any of these young men. It may be a bit easier for him as he views them all as a bit shady and after his baby girl. I’m sure all you dads can relate.
But I’m very emotional and intuitive and I keep finding myself disappointed to see someone go. I want what is best for my daughter and I am certainly not trying to mentally marry her off (anymore).
I just had no clue. No one tells you that this will happen. I thought I would always hate the idea of her dating (parts still scare me) and would always be giving any boy who liked her the stink eye. But it turns out some boys are actually pretty great.
So my goal now is to get to know them, engage and be kind with them but NOT get attached. I have to get the hang of this because I have 3 more daughters to work through this with.
Have you had to deal with this? How have you handled getting to know your teen’s significant other without becoming too attached?


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Puhsketti and Maflingoes: Thoughts on Speech

Learning language is a lengthy process. I truly believe it begins from birth. That’s why I narrate nearly everything happening around my baby from the minute they enter the world. I talk about making dinner, tying my shoes and changing her diaper. I have actually had many people stare at me in the grocery store as I chat away to my tiny baby. Perhaps this is not a common concept.
I do believe that it is a direct result of that continuous talking (and refusal to dumb things down) that all four of my children have been exceptional speakers from very early on.
I do realize that there are various factors that can come into play, such as speech issues, that no amount of narration could overcome. Some kids just need extra help and I am a big supporter of early intervention.
With so much to learn it is reasonable to expect some mispronunciation from our children. Some of it is developmentally on par, like saying “goed” instead of went. It shows they are understanding the concept of past tense.
Sometimes it is simply mis-hearing or jumbling parts of a big word. Even my well spoken children had random words that just didn’t come out right. My second daughter called flamingoes “maflingoes”.
My first reaction is always to simply model proper speech back to any child who is mispronouncing words. For the most part this is very effective at getting them to catch on. Such as, “I see those flamingoes, dear. They are pink.”
But at what point do you step in and actually correct speech? Ever?
There is definitely a division on this subject. There are plenty who say to let it be and it will self correct eventually (not always true). That correcting the child will cause them to be more self conscious and they may not want to speak if it keeps happening.
There are also those who feel that to give the child the best advantage you should help them be at their best and this includes speaking properly. Your speech makes a big first impression and there is no reason to wait it out.
With two very polar views what is a parent to do?
Both.
As with many things, I sort of sit right in the middle on this issue. I am not going to hound some poor 4-year-old all day every time he says “puhsketti”, but I am not going to damage his psyche by telling him one time the correct pronunciation and having him repeat after me slowly.
I have been told by a speech therapist that the best way to correct pronunciation without adding undue stress to the child, is only once per day, per word. So you only correct “puhsketti” once on Monday, once on Tuesday, no matter how many times he says it that day.
Now that being said, for me, correcting once does not mean me saying “The word is spuh-geh-tee” once and never mentioning it again. I spend a couple of minutes exploring the word with the child. Break it down. Sound it out slow. Repeat syllables after me.
I have actually discovered children who immediately could say a word perfectly after one of these 1-2 minute break-downs. It was simply as though they had no idea the right way to say it.
Sometimes I think we underestimate our child’s abilities. Or that we are WAY too afraid to hurt feelings. I’m not going around willy-nilly, hurting little kids’ feelings and cackling wickedly about it. It is highly unlikely that small doses of one-on-one correction is going to cause them to never speak again. They may actually enjoy that time and seek out more help (I have seen this).
I parent intuitively so I tend to feel out each situation. I don’t correct every word that is mispronounced once a day. That would be excessive. I go with my gut. I look for good opportunities. If I feel the child is probably capable of saying a word correctly, or they are really butchering it to where people can not understand them, I will step in. I can usually feel out how much to help and when.

I say there is no one right answer. Go with your gut. Step back a little. Help your child a little. You may be surprised at how quickly they pick things up.
The only thing I can NOT condone is letting it go and speaking the mispronounced words to your kids as well because you think it’s cute. I have seen the harm this can do.

So what do you think is the best way to handle mispronunciation and speech issues with kids?

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