Often I am pretty lazy. No, seriously, I am. I do a lot of cooking and caring for my kids (and other people’s) and driving them everywhere but it is all stuff I have to do. I sort of do the bare minimum. Now some of you may find that to be silly since you know I make a lot of things from scratch. part of that is the fact that I LOVE to cook and bake and part of that is since Neo hasn’t shown up with the blue pill (or was it the red…?) I can’t unknow what I know so I make a lot of things that you can easily buy at the store. The thing is all the stuff that goes beyond the base needs of my family rarely gets done.
But every once in a while I get some serious motivation and determination. I never quite know when it will strike. For instance I struggled with breastfeeding my first 3 kids and ultimately concluded it was due to a lack of knowledge. When I became pregnant with my 4th child I determined I would breastfeed. There was no “try” or anything like that. I would breastfeed her 100%, no formula, until she was 1-year-old. Well, I did just that and then some (we kept going until she was 3!).
Sometimes my determination comes from a rebel spirit that I mostly try to hide at his point in my life. As a teen I was quite content to show myself a rebel any chance I could. And if someone said I couldn’t do something, well, I quite often was more determined to do so. This isn’t always wise as sometimes people actually know what they’re talking about (like my friend Matt, who told me “You do NOT want to go out with him!” which I took as a challenge. Matt was right.).
But sometimes…sometimes people are wrong. Sometimes they just have been seeing/hearing/reading the same stuff as everyone else and they just don’t know there is another way. That something else is possible.
I suppose I try to hide my inner rebel now because I am 35 years old and a minivan driving mom of 4 daughters (and one currently gender-unknown child on the way!). But my husband, he knows. He really knows that I’m a rebel and he knows how I can see a statement as a challenge. Honestly, I have some good friends who see my rebellion through how I challenge conventional cooking and eating too.
So now…I am 13 weeks pregnant with my 5th child. I already know I will breastfeed my baby. I will cloth diaper from the start, well after the tar passes at least. And there is one more challenge I am facing. Natural childbirth.
I was induced and epiduraled 4 times. I suppose technically I went into labor on my own with my 4th but I went to the hospital too soon, my labor slowed and I was given pitocin. I decided if I ever had another child I wanted a drug-free childbirth, moving about, not strapped to a bed.
I looked into homebirth but there were a few things that made it just not work out for us. I found (through a friend) a wonderful group of midwives who enable and encourage natural childbirth within a hospital setting. As with breastfeeding, I have begun to bring home and devour stacks of books on the subject and scour the internet for more and more information. I know that for myself, knowledge is empowering.
Here is the thing I have found, almost everything you read that supports natural childbirth says that you just can’t have that in the hospital. Much out there is quite adamant that homebirth is the only way you’ll have a care provider who will fully support you and be knowledgable and where you won’t have to deal with hospitals and nurses trying to sabotage you every turn.
So there it is. I’m being told I can NOT have the natural birth I want within a hospital setting.
Challenge accepted. It’s rebel time, folks.